William Bradley Downs

Christmas is coming around again... This will be the 7th one without you... You are not here to put up and decorate the christmas tree... It's so hard..I'm not even sure if we will put one up this year.... I close my eyes and I can see you putting up the decorations and stringing the extra lights around your bedroom.. I can hear you trying to talk me into opening just one of your gifts... giving me every reason in the world why I should let you... I miss you, I miss your laughter, I miss everything about you... ..... I cling to the memory of our last Christmas together... I just wished there could be more.... I love you ... Your heart lives inside my heart.... and what the heart has known it can never forget.....

You were such a sweet baby...You loved for me to sing to you at night and you used every excuse so that you could stay up, just a little bit longer...I use to have to hold your hand to get you to go to sleep.  It took me several years to break you of that habit.. I wish I could hold your hand again.  Your favorite song was "The chocolate ice cream cone"-----you made me sing that song over and over and over.....I have not and will not ever--- sing this song to any one else again......but here it is for you......(My momma said if I'ld be good, she send me to the store.  She said she'ld make some gingerbread, if I would sweep the floor..She said if I would make the bed and watch the telephone, that she would send me out to get a chocolate ice cream cone..And so I did, the things she said and she made me some gingerbread. Now I went out, just me alone, to get a chocolate ice cream cone. While coming back I stomped my toe upon a big ole rock. And need I tell you that I dropped my chocolate ice cream cone. A little puppy came along and took a great big lick and so I hit that mean ole dog with just a little stick...and he bit me...where I sit down and he chased me all over town...now I am lost..can't find my home...all because of a chocolate ice cream cone...all because of a chocolate, chocolate, chocolate ice cream cone..)  I sang this song to you 2 weeks before you were killed...You stayed home from work because you were sick with the stomach virus..You and Samantha were laying in bed and you called me to your room and asked me to sit beside you and rub your stomach because it was hurting... I sit there and rubbed your belly and you asked me to sing you some songs... I laughed and started singing...I remember you laying there with you eyes closed and as I finished the ice cream song you looked over at Sam and told her that she needed to learn all the song I use to sing to you so she could sing them to Ya'll's babies...and I am so sorry for you and for me that--that will never happen...I love you son....

You are always in my mind...I was just thinking about you and had to smile.. I have so many memories of you and I pray I never forget any of them. My fear is forgetting your voice and laughter. The memory I had to smile at was when you were 6 years old.  Your Anut Sandy, Cindy and myself were at the mall shopping for shoes. We were at payless fitting Cindy for some tennis shoes when I looked up and you had disappeared. I looked at Sandy and said "where did he go"..She said "listen." We could hear you so we followed your voice. You were in front of the store in the mall area pacing back and forth yelling..."Repent the Lord is coming." How precious? I told Sandy-- get him. She said no you go get him.  You were drawing a crowd who were stopping to listen to you...We thought at that moment that one day you would be a preacher.....We never got the chance to watch and see where your life was going to lead you...I miss you son...

 

My precious son, what can I say that has not been said?  What can I do that has not been done?  As this July 4th draws closer, the day that I was blessed with you my precious son, my heart is breaking into.  No father can be more proud than I was and am to call you my son. You complete me. I know that there is nothing I can do to change what has happened; but I can fight for victims in honor of you until my last breath.  You, Sam, and Chris deserve so much more than you received. The memories I have of you are too many to put all down on paper. I think my greatest memory will always be the look on your face when I allowed you to use my wedding band to get married. My name died when you died; but you memory will forever live in me. I will fight to my dying breath to gain justice for the victims and survivors of drunk driving. 
You my son, were the perfect son. No father could ever ask for a better son.  Rest in peace my child. I will see you again someday and I will hold you forever in my arms.  I love you Brad, forever and a day....

I have so many memories of Brad I don't know which one to start with.  The one that comes to mind is when we were on our way to Bay Minette, Alabama for Brad and Sam to get married....  Brad wanted to be married there because that is where his dad and I were married..... Brad, Sam, Jesse, Jessica and Veronica were following behind us in Brad's jeep and I kept calling him on the cell phone telling him it wasn't to late that we could turn around and go home..... Brad laughing kept saying "No Mom, this is really what I want."  "Sam and I want to spend the rest of our life together..."  He told me that he had found the type of love with Sam that his dad and I shared..    But I still continued to tease him about turning around...  When we got there they both were so excited and happy... I could see the love that they had for each other shining in their eyes...  They were destined to be together...Their wedding rings had to be sent back for resizing so Bill and I let them borrow ours to be married in.  They thought they would not be able to exchange rings so when we took ours off and Brad realized what we were doing tears fell from his eyes.  He knew that his dad had never taken his ring off since the day it was put on his finger.. and it was an honor to him to be able to use it...  Sam after she got her own ring continued to wear mine behind it and had it on the day she died.. She was buried with it... Brad had put it on her finger and there I wanted it to stay... Their life together was cut short but there love lives on into eternity......